Cherish Is the Word

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. 23The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. 24So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting.

Ephesians 5:22-25 The Message

Years and years ago, in a galaxy far, far away a man sat down to write a song to try to express in words just what he felt for his love. As you know, most men have great difficulty in accomplishing this feat. Ask a man to fix the dishwasher or washing machine, and he turns into McGyver. Ask him to "do something about that back door sticking", and he turns into Bob Villa. But ask him to tell a woman how he feels, and he gets mush mouthed.

That's why we men appreciate the work of those rare examples of the gender who can communicate while in love. Many of these are poets and songwriters. Very frequently, a man, when faced with his limitations, will buy a book of poetry, or a special song, and hand it to his love and say "this is how I feel" because though the heart is eager, the ability is weak. One of those songs way back when was "Cherish" by a group called "The Association". Here's a snippet of the words.

Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could
Mold you into someone who could
Cherish me as much as I cherish you

We'll have to ignore the "mold you into" part for the purposes of this email, (he was doing so well, too) but I hope you can see that even the most gifted of our gender have real issues in communication. He did though, grab just the right word.

Cherish. To hold dear.

When you read the passage above in the Message paraphrase, what word jumps out at you?

If you're most people, conditioned by years of exposure to what the world has done with this passage, it would be "submit".

That's a shame, because that's not the crux of what is being communicated. When we flash on that word, we reduce our ability to understand what the passage says to the same level of men who cannot communicate their love to their wives.

The word to focus on is "cherish".

A man must first - cherish, hold dear, go all out, give his all - to his wife before he can ever hope to have her respect as an equal partner in their marriage. And as much as a woman needs to know she is cherished, a man needs that respect. Well, I've run out of words. Maybe the end of that passage will help make it clear that cherish is the word.

31And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." 32This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. Ephesians 3:31-33 The Message

I like that "I don't pretend to understand it all" part. I never have understood how someone as gifted, as grace-filled, as beautiful as my wife could have given me her heart.

But I cherish it, and her.

Yes, cherish is the word.

Grace!

David


A Glimpse of New Hope is my attempt to share the hope I have found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Should you no longer wish to receive it, or find that you have received it in error, please write me at dwilsonfl@earthlink.net and I will immediately remove you. Past "Glimpses" are archived at www.newhopevalp.org Thanks and God bless, David Wilson