Cherish Is the Word

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. 23The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. 24So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting.

Ephesians 5:22-25 The Message

Years and years ago, in a galaxy far, far away a man sat down to write a song to try to express in words just what he felt for his love. As you know, most men have great difficulty in accomplishing this feat. Ask a man to fix the dishwasher or washing machine, and he turns into McGyver. Ask him to "do something about that back door sticking", and he turns into Bob Villa. But ask him to tell a woman how he feels, and he gets mush mouthed.

That's why we men appreciate the work of those rare examples of the gender who can communicate while in love. Many of these are poets and songwriters. Very frequently, a man, when faced with his limitations, will buy a book of poetry, or a special song, and hand it to his love and say "this is how I feel" because though the heart is eager, the ability is weak. One of those songs way back when was "Cherish" by a group called "The Association". Here's a snippet of the words.

Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could
Mold you into someone who could
Cherish me as much as I cherish you

We'll have to ignore the "mold you into" part for the purposes of this email, (he was doing so well, too) but I hope you can see that even the most gifted of our gender have real issues in communication. He did though, grab just the right word.

Cherish. To hold dear.

When you read the passage above in the Message paraphrase, what word jumps out at you?

If you're most people, conditioned by years of exposure to what the world has done with this passage, it would be "submit".

That's a shame, because that's not the crux of what is being communicated. When we flash on that word, we reduce our ability to understand what the passage says to the same level of men who cannot communicate their love to their wives.

The word to focus on is "cherish".

A man must first - cherish, hold dear, go all out, give his all - to his wife before he can ever hope to have her respect as an equal partner in their marriage. And as much as a woman needs to know she is cherished, a man needs that respect. Well, I've run out of words. Maybe the end of that passage will help make it clear that cherish is the word.

31And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." 32This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. Ephesians 3:31-33 The Message

I like that "I don't pretend to understand it all" part. I never have understood how someone as gifted, as grace-filled, as beautiful as my wife could have given me her heart.

But I cherish it, and her.

Yes, cherish is the word.

Grace!

David


A Glimpse of New Hope is my attempt to share the hope I have found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Should you no longer wish to receive it, or find that you have received it in error, please write me at dwilsonfl@earthlink.net and I will immediately remove you. Past "Glimpses" are archived at www.newhopevalp.org Thanks and God bless, David Wilson

Tar-baby ain't sayin' nuthin', en brer Fox, he lay low.

"Stay alert. This is hazardous work I'm assigning you. You're going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don't call attention to yourselves. Be as cunning as a snake, inoffensive as a dove. Matthew 10:16 (The Message)

Joel Chandler Harris' Song of the South was part of the literature I grew up with. His amazing world of Brer. Rabbit, Brer. Fox, Uncle Remus and the gang was almost required reading for a boy growing up in Middle Georgia. Just up the road from where I lived was the museum that enshrined Harris' work. The Disney film came along, and put the words Harris wrote to music. "Zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-ya, my oh my what a wonderful day..." is now swirling around in your head and you'll have trouble the rest of the day shaking it. The quote above comes from a scene when Brer. Bear got mad, and everyone scattered rather than face his wrath.

But Harris' story was written in an earlier time, and today it doesn't get mentioned much in literature classes at all. His use of the dialect of the slaves on Georgia plantations in his work is seen as insensitive and out of step with today's culture. So rather than have to face the protests, most teachers simply bypass Harris' work. Too many landmines.

I stepped on one of those this weekend, when I answered the phone and got an earful of criticism and wrath.

Why?

Santa Claus.

Handed the phone by a member right before Sunday School started, I was treated to the most one-sided conversation I've had in a long time. It seems that sometime late last year, Santa Claus came up in one of our children's groups. Most church leaders will tell you that with children under 12, the whole "Is Santa real?" question is quite the hot potato. No one really wants to get into it, and most try to deflect or avoid with responses like "What does your family say?" or the ever popular "what do you think?" We're trying to help families come to know Jesus and so we try to stay focused on that. Sometimes though, you get pinned down. It's happened to me.

So apparently, the question was asked and the truth was given to a 9 year old. So his irate mother called to let me know she wanted an apology from everyone involved. Nothing I said helped - in fact whatever I said in apology or otherwise just made it worse. It ended when she told me she'd tell everyone about how horrible we were, called me some names, and hung up.

It's bothered me ever since.

Friends, at New Hope we love people. Our goal is to reach out in love to all people, no matter what. And somehow, unknowingly, we've had a door into the lives of an unchurched family slammed in our face. That breaks my heart. I've been praying off and on ever since Sunday that God would keep reaching into the lives of that family, if not through us, then through some other church.

It's not that what was said wasn't true - it was. And I'm on record as hoping to keep the church focused on the Incarnation around Christmas time. But the world hasn't caught onto how Santa Claus' gifts pale in comparison to the gift of a Savior yet. In fact the mom told me that "we had ruined a sacred holiday for her family." We might know that isn't a very high view of what's sacred. But we don't need to go tap-dancing through every minefield we see.

I want to encourage you today, to focus on living the Jesus-life among the wolves by concentrating your efforts on what really matters - building bridges for the unchurched to walk across to meet Jesus. Don't get distracted and lose an opportunity to share the way home. And pray that a mom and her child find Jesus someday to be far better than Santa ever dreamed of.

If that ever happens to me again, I'm going to make like Brer. Fox. "...he lay low."

Grace!

David Wilson


A Glimpse of New Hope is my attempt to share the hope I have found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Should you no longer wish to receive it, or find that you have received it in error, please write me at dwilsonfl@earthlink.net and I will immediately remove you. Past "Glimpses" are archived at www.newhopevalp.org Thanks and God bless, David Wilson